Dissertations on Nothing

Mariposas

kamotkreator — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 02:01:37 +0000

Mariposas que caen en la lluvia.
Llacen ahogadas en una escaramuza acuática de diciembre.
Los colores se disuelven, son mondadientes grises que flotaban pretendiendo enamorarte.

Sólo dale tiempo, y el tiempo no sirve para nada.

Así como los colores eran falsos, son las cenizas de tus labios en mi boca lo que tiñen mis besos.
Y caerán los telones, las alas y los sueños.
Miserable ilusión tornasol.
Malditos recuerdos de cristal.

Is it an anthem for a long lost soul…

kamotkreator — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 03:45:28 +0000

Or a memento for a heart alone?

Can you bring it up to your despair? Caught within your rage, drowning in your stench.

Is it memories that fuel your mind or possibilities wasted in time.

Yet you couldn’t give it when the time was ripe, you had your move and you let it drown.

Well so long…

Well so long.

And at my side I thought I had you, holding me together.

And at my side I thought I had you, keeping me from breaking.

Yet when the time was ripe you only pulled away.

Well so long.

Did I push away too hard, when I wanted you closer?

Did I pull you closer, when there wasn’t any hope left?

Chances have been many, yet options not so much. You had the ball, and let it roll. You had the space but wanted more.

You can no longer give, what you find broken and scattered.

You can dream again.

You can smile and wave.

Well so long. Do it.

Screw them all around you, they matter close to none.

Take it all for yourself, now that you got the chance.

And get ready to give it now you know you have it… when the time is ripe.

Because even if the times roll back… you know it would be wasting it. Throwing it for the swine.

Yet sometimes, we all miss straggling in the mud.

Well so long, bring it.

Well so long, I’m gone.

Hold together…

kamotkreator — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 06:29:29 +0000

Hate not only poisons your soul, but those around it.

If you choose to use that hate to harm, it is a human will focused on to destroying something it no longer believes is its equal.

I lived in Norway. I laughed, I cried, I jumped, I slept, I loved there.

My heart still remains there, with its people. With the peace they showed me, with the care and love I not only received, but got the chance to give.

And I grieve for Norway, for my friends and for my heart which remains there.

There is pain… and impotence… and distance.

There was a moment into which I admit I panicked… if something hadppened to my best friend, anything… Screw the registration for the courses, screw my job meetings and such… I would have sold everything and anything to be on the first flight to Oslo.

Then we spoke, and she was and is all right. Then, parallel to that moment it came…

The guilt.

How can you be so relieved she wasn’t one of the people in the building or at the island?

They were youngsters for life’s sake… they were kids…

I took some flowers to the consulate here in Costa Rica the following day. It wasn’t even open. No flowers at the door nor anything…

I had to call in for the guard to put them at the entrance. He didn’t even know what had happened…

You

can ask, how can there be so much hate and injustice? How can there be such evil?

A friend says you end up being made of stone in this country and region I am.

How you get used to expect anything, from the most bizarre to the most horrible ways to give pain to a human soul, if there is such a thing.

Killings, starvation, injustice, mutilation, kidnapping, rape and abuse. The line was never drawn and there is still no bottom to hit.

Let this be a moment for unity, for hope and for reckoning in Norway.

The path we lie on is not only hard, but the direction it has taken is not our own.

Let us hold together, for Norway.

Let me hold on to you, my dearest friend.

For you Lill.

I love you.

Strip to the bone… Innocence.

kamotkreator — Mon, 04 Jul 2011 20:59:31 +0000

Silently walk towards the edge, you can feel the tension in the air.

That carefull thrill at the back of your throat.

That point where frailty inside your heart lies. Mind your step here, those are wounds you are circling… screw it, if they open so be it.

Anything goes now.

The rules have been left behind as guidelines, besides… I´ve always made my own game.

I owe neither love nor hate, free to give and take as I will. You can be a slave to an image that’s not real distorted through hopes and time, or take the picture yourself again.

The players change, the rules are still not important. Wins and losses, they all come and go. Besides, I thrive on being out of line.

Give points away, roll the dice again. Roll them or not, the turns keep on happening.

Expectations are forced hopes that may not be your own, true ingenuity comes from the unexpected. You can only fool yourself to a certain point.

There are no illusions here, only dreams in the making.

Wake up and smell the rain

kamotkreator — Tue, 14 Jun 2011 04:41:07 +0000

This is why I get to jump.

You can only run so much from your troubles, sorrows and despair.
Let the fucking heat drown you into sleep… the nightmares will wake you up for sure.
Whilst the dreams still linger on that hopeless part of your unconscious self.
Let the ravens fly above your bed, the only reminder of the corpse below.

Try to view it that way… as I tell you why you’re wrong.
Try to jump from a bridge, while you realize you just sleep on the porch outdoors.

Don’t give a fuck about it… Let the sweat purge the pain, the misery and the tears.
The pain is only powerful as you allow it to be. And it’s never gonna be as big as your love can be.

Wake up from this recurring nightmare. Run and grasp your dreams, your wishes and your love.
When in reality, they are still inside you, inside me.

You can only haunt yourself, if you’re a prisoner to your grief and your regret.
The dreams hold the actions to accomplish them… and they haven’t stopped.

As I live one dream, I dream of the next.
For when you’re a dreamer… you jump all the time.

The dream is mine.

Burbujas y realidades jabonosas

kamotkreator — Thu, 26 May 2011 04:18:57 +0000

Encerrados en burbujas de pequeñas realidades.
Sientes que lo vales, que lo sos todo…
Pero el sueño colapsa.
Resulta que tu realidad es diferente.
Y se golpean entre sí, estas esferas jabonosas de lo que crees que es tu mundo. Se mezclan, se juntan y se elevan.
O caen para reventar.
Pueden incluso reventar en el aire, colapsos de una presión unidireccional mal dirigida.
La estela de momentos no desaparece, pero puedes ver como son brillantes los deseos, mas opacos los recuerdos.
Y nuestra propia indiferencia nos nutre de un lado a otro. El cambio no pasará nunca mientras hablarlo sea la opción predilecta que al hacerlo.
¿Donde llega el límite de nuestro accionar?
Predicamos el cambio y reproducimos el sistema. Nos volvemos engranajes clandestinos de nuestra propia pompa jabonosa.
Subimos al balcón para gritar, mas llegamos a la ventana solo por la vista del logro que es ya estar ahí.

¿Donde ha quedado tu sueño, soñador?
¿Has quedado ahogado en un charco de desiluciones y superficialidades?
Los sueños ahora se consumen, se viven en un espacio de ilusiones plásticas y llanas.

Seremos los ilusos quienes sigamos por aquel camino de ilusiones y de sueños por vivir.
Para construir nuestros sueños y llorarles.
Para derrumbarles y reir.

Seremos quien, seremos nadie. Seremos alguien y aquel.
Serás y seré, lo que cruce tu camino.

Quiero que vengan las lluvias.

kamotkreator — Thu, 19 May 2011 05:58:54 +0000

Quiero que vengan las lluvias
Que el agua purifique mi cuerpo, mi alma y mi dolor.
No, ni mierda. Quiero que me empape y me lave, me ahogue y me deje náufrago en un lugar desconocido y fascinante.
Que la tierra cruja y se desmorone una sobre otra, una avalancha de piedras y palos que repiquen sobre mí.
Que los parajes cambien y las reglas dejen de tener sentido en este nuevo juego.
Quiero ver la ciudad decadente mientras su mugre simplemente se desplaza un poco más abajo por un tiempo, esperando el momento en que vuelva a salir el sol y su hedor nos asfixie.
Quiero que los buses se conviertan en saunas donde una ventana abierta es un oasis de vida prohibido ya que mojan al pasajero trasero.

Voy a despertar con el sonido áspero de la lluvia sobre mi ventana en las mañanas.
Dormir hasta que no haya límite más que la necesidad de salir del letargo.
Quiero ver enterrados los deseos, los sueños y las esperanzas. Para verles germinar nuevamente.
Que mis abrigos escondan el frío que se lleva dentro.
Quiero que la lluvia camufle mis lagrimas.

Quiero que sepas…

Que ha llovido dentro de mi desde hace mucho.
El invierno es solo una excusa.

Quiero que sepas…

Que mi único gran error fue escogerte a tí.

Jump – UNESCO – Jeg

kamotkreator — Sat, 14 May 2011 02:02:56 +0000

So you let go… as you grab higher.
Or not, what the heck. Jump.
Jump and let yourself be free.
You have your dreams and they set the pace for your thrust towards freedom.
There’s nothing to fear when you give it your best. And the pain you get will take a while to get away, but it will only make you stronger.
I can make mistakes, misplace feelings and err. I have done so.
Placed too much in too little, or in an image where the hope was only mine. Yeah, you live and you learn the song says.
Yet the magic wasn’t in you, its inside me. And I can share it with whom I want, will, wish or make it grow if by myself.

———————-

Vivir es un placer.
Vivir y actuar por alguien más que mi mismo es un placer.
Trabajé por un movimiento estudiantil federativo que el momento que estuvimos en síncopa, fué genial. Fué intenso y fué magnífico.
Aprendí de mis limites, de mis capacidades y de como expandir y aceptar los mismos retos que me afrontan.
Luché, trasnoché, sufrí y la gocé.
Ciclos que inician, ciclos que concluyen. Más no concluyen de manera aislada ni solitaria. Nuevos hermanos y hermanas, nuevos retos y experiencias por venir.
Y aprendí también que mi trabajo lo vale, que puedo dar más.
Ahora existe un reto… un reto a un nivel mucho mayor.
De dar lo mejor de mí por el mundo y la región. De darse cuenta de nuestra orbe es enorme y son las acciones concretas con trabajo duro y esfuerzo las que han de cambiar nuestro mundo.
Ahora se inicia un nuevo ciclo, internacionalista y en búsqueda del desarrollo internacional y la verdad por la frase que mi jefa dijo que me cautivó y con la que espero con ansias cada momento de trabajar. “Este proyecto es para salvar vidas”.
Es un sueño hecho realidad. Puedo dar lo mejor de mi para hacer un cambio real.
Fortalecer los Sistemas de Alerta Temprana de la Región, incluyendo su integración al sistema educativo de todos los países.
Prevencion y gestión del riesgo por amenazas hidrogeológicas. (Entiéndase Prevención de Desastres Naturales)
Organización de Naciones Unidas para la Educación, la Ciencia, la Comunicación (NUEVO ) y la Cultura. UNESCO.
Vamos a hacer esto bien.
Llevo 5 años de estudio para este momento y los que vendrán.

Tempus fugit.

—————————–

I know what I can give.
And Ill give it all, to whom and what I choose.
Looking back helps settle the path that lies ahead. Yet is not the only way I can build my path.
I can also choose the path ahead of me.
My gaze is on the horizon now.
And I will run until I reach it.

Chaos and restraints.

kamotkreator — Mon, 02 May 2011 17:01:02 +0000

The fall becomes a rise, then stalls. Thus continues on this loop of actions that will keep happening, even if you keep your mind on a specific phase.
Truth is, you can’t really view the void anymore.
It got into your head and you think its all there is, when in reality its you that has been falling, or rising into it. Because you stopped looking from the sides and decided to dive in. To jump in. To live and stick to the limit.
I jumped, took that extra step.
And I haven’t stopped.
You can always go further. You can always choose if you want to look back and hold on, but then again… You rise and fall, to do it all again.

Jumping.

kamotkreator — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 01:03:02 +0000

You can take it all away yet there will always be remnants in your head.
Shadows of long lost dreams, pains from a love reborn to die again.
Every single part of me jumped towards the void, challenging the barren wasteland that bordered the way. And it worked, for a while.
Take it all away, memories washed ashore in the muck of reality.
Yet the world keeps spinning, and you’ve just been a satellite, immersed in your bubble of abstraction and fatigue.
You can run and try to hide. But if you run from yourself, its only a matter of time to really make it go away. Or learn to live with it.

Jump, love, run and fall.
Get it all together again.
Its all there, still.

You didn’t lose the love, the strength or the will.

Only the choice you made.
That is truly lost now.

For times now lost, for the joys and tears it brought.
And for all the more still to come.